Broken and Alone
by RunEdwardRun
Summary: Sequel to Military Brat, Bella has been free from her cancer for three year, free from Edwards and Cullens/Hales love. Now she's going to go to college and try to start a new life. But what if everything changes...Full summary inside. Allhuman
1. The pain no one can see

**So enjoy the next story of Military Brat…I really enjoyed writing that one, here is the summary. Oh and if you want to read this story please read military brat first or you will not understand.**

**Summary: Bella has been living her life without cancer for three now. Three year without Edward, and her wonderful family, the Cullen's and Hales. She didn't want to hurt any of them so she blocked them out of her life. She asked her Mom if she could go back to homeschooling, because it would be easier on her, with how she will be sick. She never told her parents what she did to her friends, because she knew they would make her go back and be friends again. But she couldn't do that to them. She went throw so much treatment she ended up losing her hair and losing a lot of weight. Now she's trying to get her life back on track so she can start her life over, but there's always that hole in her chest that makes her have nightmare and keeps her up at night. Wishing she could have that one beautiful guy she once loved next to her, for their lips to meet, for him just to hold her. The hole at makes her want her sisters back, wishing she could have gone shopping with Alice. Wishing she could have her older Sister back. The hole that wants her loving big brothers to play around with her, for Emmett's big grin that's always on his playful faces. For Jaspers loving hugs that help her to deal with things, for him to be there throw that painful treatment, because he has a why with her pain. To have her other mother by her side, to have her love close by at all times. Well of course she saw Carlisle, but she only acted like a person he had to treat, which he never did to her. He still loved her very much. But she has to live with what she did, for if she goes back they will most likely hate her for what she did to them.**

**Now on to the story!**

**Yeah!**

My life now after all those year of pain has been crap, don't get me wrong I'm so happy I'm alive, but when you alone and well broken. I'm not broken like all my bones and stuff but my heart is sure to die any minute. Sometimes I feel as if I'm going to break, just fall to the floor and stop living. I still can't live with what I did to my beautiful loving family. To break the one person I love heart, to never see his smile, his green eyes looking down at me, for his soft lips touching mine. For his warm arms to be around my body, for him just to be next to me. To see him again would kill my heart it would leap for joy at his voice, skip a few times. My face would probably break into a smile, than I would frown, because he hates me.

What did I think would happen, he would be so happy I broke his heart? I thought I was going to die, I didn't want him to be sad when I was gone.

I didn't think I was going to live, but I did and I never came back to him, I was scared to. I was scared he was going to hate me even more for showing my face back into his life.

Because I treated him like crap all those year, he even tried to see me when I was at the doctors with his father; he did that so many times. I then I let him down and cried myself to sleep.

My parents always asked me why I was so down I blamed in on my cancer, I didn't want them to know I cried myself to sleep every night and still do. They did know I had nightmares, because they ran into my room when I was screaming. They don't do that anymore, they know it's nothing.

I told them I was in pain for my treatments. They just hugged me. It wasn't the same; I wanted Edward to hold me, to tell me everything is going to be okay.

That would never happen again.

So now I'm walking to the mail to see if I was accepted to Forks College.

Yes, I'm going to college now. I'm not leaving my parents until I've being going for at least two years.

I don't want to leave my parents. I won't be living with them, I'm going to leave in the dorms. Hopefully my two new room mates are nice.

Yes, I have to have two. Fun! Not.

They'll probably hate me like everyone else in my life.

I open the mail box, and there's a thick letter in there. I pull it out so fast I almost fell over. Stupid me.

I ran in the house, thankfully I didn't fall. I put everything else on the table; I open my letter, and close my eyes as it is being turned around.

I look at it. I read over it until my eyes stop on the one word I hoped for.

_Accepted._

My gosh I got in…I jump up into the air.

I run to the phone to call the Cullen's…Wait, I can't do that.

Never mind about them.

I do want to call my dad, but I'll wait until mom and him are both home for the good news.

**Well I hope you like this new story/chapter. Please review my beautiful readers. =)**


	2. Nothing without them

**Thanks for reading the first chapter….I hope you enjoyed it. =) Well onto the story.**

I can't stay still, when are they coming home? They should be here by now, they're going to freak out when I tell them what happened. I sure moms going to cry and dads going to be a little teary eyed. I'm sure they'll be happy for me.

I can't wait any long I have to tell someone, but who?

Then I remember I don't have any friends at all.

Because I didn't want to hurt anyone and most of the kids at school were weird and rude.

Like Mike, he was always after me. He never let me live my life without him asking me out.

Or Jessica the only reason she was with me was to get gossip about the Cullen's and Hales. Just saying the names turn my stomach I still love them very much.

Angela was very nice to, but she ditched me after I left _them. _No, one understands why I left them. They just wouldn't understand if I told them.

No, one would understand, they only would if they had cancer to.

I probably seem like the jerkiest person in the world to them, but I did what was the best for them and me.

And I don't regret it.

I may be sad I don't have them by my side, but I would have been worse if they were next to me through all the treatment and pain.

They have probably moved on, I haven't and that's why I'm going to a college where I can live a life without them.

To start over.

That's what I need to do to live my new life, my very sad life. I'm still trying to recover from all that chemotherapy, trying to look healthy again.

I'm sure I don't look so health in other people's eyes, but I look better than I did before.

I turn around at the sound of the door bell.

"Mom, Dad?" I walked over to the door, opening it.

It's Frank one of Dads men and the pastor from the church down the street. And Carlisle, just seeing him brings back memories. He looks so sad.

My heart falls. _No_. I whisper in my head.

"Bella can we come in?" Franks ask. I nod weakly.

They come into my house, sitting down next to me.

"Bella your mom and dad were in an accident." Tears started falling down my face.

I shake my head not believing it.

"Bella I'm sorry we lost them. I tried all I could do, but it was so bad." Carlisle says. I put my head in my hands.

I can feel tears pouring down my face.

Someone comes and sits next to me, I know who it is because he gave me so many hugs before and after my treatments.

Carlisle held me tight in his arms.

"Guys I got it from here." Carlisle says. I look up to see the guys giving me a questionable looks. They were trying to ask me if that was okay. I just nodded weakly.

My tears began to pour more and more down my face. I start to lose my breath.

They're really gone.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Carlisle says in a whisper.

"I know."

"Bella you welcome to come and stay with Esme and our children." My heart got weaker.

"I don't think I'd be that welcome." I whisper through my sobs.

"Bella honey your always welcome."

"It's okay Carlisle I'm fine here."

"Okay, please call us if you need anything." I know he didn't want to leave me, I just bet he doesn't know what to do to help me out.

"Okay." He gets up to walk over to the door.

"Goodbye." He moves over and kisses my forehead.

"Goodbye sweet heart. Please I want you to call us for anything." He says, moving away. I nod.

He walks out the door, as soon as it was closed I fell to the floor, breathing for life.

(Days later)

It's been three days since my parent's death, I haven't moved from the floor. People have been coming to my door, telling me to let them in.

I just don't have the strength to let them see me this way.

The door rang today, I could hear the voice I once call mom. Well Cullen mom.

"Bella sweetie let me in, please." I did as she said. I open the door from the floor. She walks in, she looks at me with sadness on her face.

"Oh Bella honey, come let me get you up from there." She moves over to my side and helps me up.

"Let's get you cleaned up." She says when I was in her arms.

She helps my take a shower, clean the house. And then she asks me the one question I didn't want to answer.

"Bella would you like me to help with the funeral?" I burst into tears.

"I'm sorry." She comes over and hugs me.

"Bella we need to start the plans we can't wait a long time."

"Okay."

After all the plans were made, I cried myself to sleep.

(Two days later)

Today was the day, where I would put my parents in the ground.

Esme came over to help me get dressed. Black of all the colors. That's how I feel black.

Everything is now black to me.

My parents where the only ones I had anymore. And now their gone forever.

Esme drove me to where my parent funeral is being held.

My heart stops when I saw my once called family.

Edward in all his beauties, Alice and Jasper. Emmett and Rose. Then Carlisle, he comes over to my side of the car, he opens my door and helps me out. He pulls me into a hug, I start to cry into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

"Me too." He lets me go and helps me walk into the building were my parents will be seen. I can see Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Edward looking at me with sad faces. I look away from them. Carlisle walks with me, he takes me into one of the room, I see my parent's bodies, lay in the caskets. I walk over to them. I look at the peaceful faces.

I start to break down. I touch my Mother's hand, cold and hard. I couldn't help it, I fall to the floor, putting my head into my arms.

"No, why does all this bad stuff happen to me." I yell into my hands. "Is this my fault?" I ask up into the air. "Why did you do this to me?" I scream to the sky.

I get up and run outside, I need air. When I ran out if the room, I past Edward and Jasper and the rest of them. I could see all of them with pained faces.

I run to the little table, falling to the floor, holding onto my stomach, for my life.

Then I feel something run down my face. It's raining. I look up into the sky rain falling down my face.

"Why! Why me! Why." I whisper the last part.

"Bella it's not your fault." I look over to see Jasper looking down at me.

"But it is I hurt everyone I love."

"Bella honey it's not your fault they died." He walks over to me. He sits next to me on the floor, putting his arms around me.

"I hurt everyone." I cry into his shoulder. His warm body holds on tight to me. Oh how I've missed his hugs, his love. How I miss his words of comfort.

"Oh Bella." He whispers, he picks me up from the ground. He moves over to the table, sitting down with me in his lap.

"I've missed you Jasper."

"I know, I have to. Well you be my little sister again?" I nod into his shirt.

"Good."

"I know this doesn't change all the things I have done to you, thank you for forgiving me...we should get back in there." I say to him. I don't understand how he can just ask me to be his sister again, after all the things I have done to him, all the pain I have thrown at him in the past few years. I don't understand him, he has always known my feelings and he has always been the one I talked to more than Edward. I don't understand him.

"Let's go." He helped me stand then stands next to me.

"You can go back to Alice now." I smile weakly once we get in there. He nods, and walks off. I go and walk over to where my seat is, all wet. I start to shiver. Esme saw me shivering and walks away to get me a blanket. When she comes back I thank her.

Wrapping the blanket around my cold body.

"Isabella will you come and say some words for your parents." I move up there slowly. When I got there I look at my hands.

"My parents were the rock through this hard life off mine, I wouldn't be here without them. Through my cancer, there were some problems, I didn't heal as was expected, and my parents were the ones trying to help me with it all. There were everything to me, and now their gone, and I'm alone. I loved them with all my heart." I look down tears falling. Out of breath.

"I'll miss them very much, without them I'm nothing, but weak. How am I going to live in this world alone? For I have nothing to live for. Nothing at all, if I knew there were going to die I wouldn't have gone through all that treatment against my cancer, because I would be with them right now. I've hurt so many people in my life, I don't know if I could live anymore, for doing that." I look at my once called family, Rose and Alice where crying. Emmett looks like he is in pain.

"I'm sorry to my parents for making them leave everything to care for me, because I never disserved it. Good Bye." I whispered. I look at them for the last time. Then I walked out the door not coming back. I just looked ahead, not looking back. Tears running fast down my face, walking to the door, through the rain. Time to walk home, time to freeze, _never look back..._

**(Well that was sad, please review what you think of this chapter)**


	3. Running from the pain

**(Well thank you all for the reviews. I know this stories pretty sad =( But it needs to be.)**

I packed all my stuff as fast as I could. I can't let anyone get to me, I need to leave. They will want to talk to me about the stuff I said at the funeral, and I'm not sure I'm ready. I put all my stuff in my boxes, running back and forth making sure I got everything. I ran to my car, putting them in the trunk.

When all of my stuff was packed I locked up the house and ran, ran from everything, no looking back. I called the school earlier telling them I want to come to the school now, and if they had rooms ready for people. They said yes. I took all the money I have, and ran.

The school is about an hour away, they would never know where I went. I bet they won't even come looking for me.

As I drove I thought of what I promised Jasper, I would be his sister again. I took my phone out, looking through my contacts, his number still there. I pushed call. Nervous.

He picks up after the fifth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello Jasper."

"Bella thank God, where are you? I'll come get you. Are you still walking?"

"Jasper I didn't want to hurt you again so that's why I'm calling."

"What are you talking about Bells?"

"I'm leaving."

"What where?" He was freaking out now.

"I can't tell you that. I'm sorry I need a fresh start and I can't get it here."

"Bella please, you know I love you, you can't just leave me hanging like this."

"I'll be fine Jasper, I promise. You can call me whenever you want, I can't promise I'm going to answer but you can call."

"Please." He was pleading.

"I'm sorry I have to go now."

"Bella, Bella, don't you dare hang up please." He was yelling, I didn't listen I just hung up.

The rest of the car ride was long, Jasper didn't stop calling my phone, or stop texting it. I ended up turning my phone off. He's going to have to live with the fact that I hurt people, it's not my fault I can't help it.

I drove for the rest of the way thinking about my life, the worst life ever. Then I saw it, the college I would be going to for a long time, with no friends. I will not make any friends here, I promised myself.

I'll just end up hurting them.

I look at my papers that tells me where my dorm is and were all my classes are. My dorm it number 209, I get all my bags out of my trunk. Walking over to the building where my dorm was, it was a boy/girl dorm building. I'm hoping my roommates are not here yet, school doesn't start for another two weeks.

I walk through the doors, walking down the halls. I reach my door and open it to see an empty room. Yeah that means I can pick whatever bed I want.

I ended up picking the one by the window, facing the school building. I put my purple bedding on, gift from my parents. My heart started hurting, breath. I sat on my bed wrapping my arms around my chest, so I can't feel the hole that's there, the one for all of my family.

I truly feel alone. I know, I chose that but still it hurts.

I lay on my bed trying to clear my head.

All I did this week was cry, thinking about my parents. I didn't meet anyone, I just eat and slept. When people would come up to me asking me who I was, I would just walk away. I know I'm probably a really jerky person here, but I can't hurt them to, I just really need to live in a bubble from the world, a bubble full of pain.

I thought I came here to start again but it's so hard.

I finally turned my phone on, and there are over one hundred voice mails. I guess leaving you phone off for that long can really do that. Most of them were from Jasper, than there was some from Charlie's friend Billy Black. I can't talk to him, he would bring to much sadness to my heart.

I told myself it's time to call Jasper.

I call his phone.

"Bella?" his voice sound upset.

"Yes."

"I've been looking for you everywhere I thought you were dead somewhere on the side of the road."

"Sorry."

"Bella are you okay? Are you safe?"

"Yes I'm safe."

"But are you okay?"

"Not fully no." He sighs.

"I wish you would tell me where you are."

"I know, but I can't."

"Please Bells I want to help you through this."

"No, one can Jasper."

"Let me try."

"I don't want the rest of them feeling sorry for me, they could probably care less."

"Bella you don't know that." He says softly.

"I hurt all of you, why don't you hate me like they do?" I ask.

"Because you're my little sister and I'm going to help you through this."

"You should hate me." I said simply.

"I can't hate you." I heard someone in the background. "Give me the phone Jasper." I think it's Esme.

"Bella honey come home to us." Esme says softly.

"I can't." My heart is aching now.

"Bella tell us where you are and well come and get you."

"I got to go." This needs to stop I'm not coming back, if I keep talking to them then I'm going to want to come back and I can't.

"Bella don't hang up."

"This is the last time you will hear from me. I'm sorry I can't do this anymore."

"Bella don't hurt yourself." Esme says sounding like she's crying.

"I'm not going to kill myself." How could she think I would?

"Bye." I hung up quickly bursting into tears.

**(JPOV)**

Bella just hung up, Esme is in tear, and I took her into my arms. Can't Bella just stay with us? I still love her as my sister and I feel so much pain for her to be this way.

Seeing her at her parent's funeral broke my heart, her crying on stage, and then she just leaves. All of us frozen there, staring at the door. I ran out after her but she was gone.

I drove all over town looking for her. I couldn't find her. She calls me telling me she's leaving, what am I going to do.

I see that she is in so much pain and I can't do anything about it.

She calls again tell us this is the last time will hear from her. I've had too much of this.

I let go of Esme running out the door, I'm going to her house and I'm looking around for any sign of where she went.

I drove as fast as I can push my car. I can't believe everyone else is perfectly fine with Bella just running off.

Their all mess up.

Bella needs are help and there living in the past.

I know why she did it, she didn't want to hurt us. She did hurt us, but the hurt was a lot better than her dying on us.

Edward, Alice, Rose and Emmett (Even know Emmett wants to help me, but can't because of Rose) are being idiots.

Bella could be hurting herself for all we know.

I got to Bella's house and ran to the porch. Got the key out and opened the door.

I ran into the kitchen, looking for signs for anything.

After awhile I found a paper, and smiled. Well I don't have to wait long to see her.

I ran home, I guess I'll wait a week or two. _Got you now Bells_. I thought.

**Well that was crazy. How'd you like it or hate it. Review on what you think, and be nice to me.**


	4. Grow up Edward!

**Hey y'all thanks for the reviews. Please enjoy this story and read my new one, 'Rock is in our blood' by me and my friend dubblebubble71.**

(EPOV)

I can't handle this anymore, people think 'poor Bella, Bella's going through this Bella, oh Bella.'

Who gives a crap about Bella, she broke my heart.

Even know her parents died that doesn't mean she can have our hearts back. I will never forgive her.

I'm perfectly happy now with Lauren, I know what the heck am I think dating her, well she really was there for me when Bella left, when she broke my heart.

Laurens everything I want in life, even if she's all about herself.

My family hates her but who cares what they think, they also though Bella was a great girl. They were wrong.

I swear if they are talking to her again, I will never ever like them again.

She killed me, to the depths of my heart, I will never be the same.

Lauren is all I need now.

When I went to Bella's parent's funeral, she was crying tell everyone how sorry she was for hurting us, like she really means it. How could she just leave me?

I was there for her, when she was sick, and she just walked out on me. I'm so happy she left Forks, know I'll never have to be afraid of running into her.

She just needs to leave us all alone.

Jasper seems to be a little weird lately, like when he came back from the car, like he said he was doing at the funeral, he looked in pain, but for some reason he looked happier.

He's been acting weird ever since Bella left town.

Like something is going to happen ever soon.

He better not be doing something with Bella. He doesn't need the pain like I had.

Like I told them she broke my heart and they can't be friends with her. Someone knocks on my door.

"Jasper." I look at him.

"Edward you need to forget what Bella did, she didn't mean anything by it." I growled.

"The heck she didn't." Jaspers face turns red.

"You need to grow up Edward, she was dying and has been through a heck of a lot more then you have ever had. At least you have parents who love you and are still alive, Bella has no one, and if you can't see this is so sad, then you don't have a heart inside your chest." He walks out the door and slams it on the way.

Well he doesn't know anything about it.

Bella is the devil who killed my heart.

My phone starts ringing. I look over to see who it is, it's Lauren.

"Hey babe."

"Eddie I need some things, will you come shopping with me." Her annoying voice asks me.

"Sure, one thing don't call me Eddie."

"Eddie come on I need to shop now!" She yells. I get up from my bed with a sigh. Why do I even try?

"I'm coming." I said a little bit rude. Oh who cares if she wants more crap for her closet.

"Good." She hangs up without even saying good bye.

(BPOV)

Three days until school starts and people have been showing up to get ready, I still don't have my roommates yet, thank God. I have to get myself together before they see me.

I've been staying in my room crying my eyes for who knows how long.

I need to get over that family, nothing good comes from thinking about them, but I love them so much, it's so hard not to miss them.

I hear my door open, oh no! My roommates are here. I look at the door and am shocked at what I see. Oh God save me from this year.

**(A/n I was going to stop there, but I'm just going to write it)**

There stands the people I once call sisters. I gasp. The look at me, shocked.

"No, way this can't be true." Rose says glaring at me.

"Um...I…uh." I can't even talk I'm so in shock.

"What the crap are you doing in our room?" Rose asks mad.

"This is my…room." I said trying not to seem rude. Alice hasn't said a word, I look over at her. She just has a hurt look on her face.

**Holy crap! Heheheh Man Edward is a jerk. Man tell me what you think of this chapter.**

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	5. She said what now?

**Hehheeheh no one's ever going to see this =) Enjoy.**

We just sat there staring at each other, not knowing what to say next. I sank onto my bed, gasping for air. This is not going to go well.

"Guys-." I began but Rosalie cut me off.

"Bella how could you do this to Edward? He loved you, he was even going to ask you to-."

"Rose!" Alice yelled at Rosalie. We look at her.

"That's not our place to tell her." I looked at them confused.

"What are you talking about?" Rosalie turned and glares at me.

"Well it's not like it's going to happen again." Rose says.

"Did you know on the day you broke Edwards heart he was going to ask you to marry him?" I stared at them in shock. _WHAT_! I thought.

"Yeah Bella so you kill him, how could you do that, we all hate you for it, and I'm not caring if you're my roommate, I'm Edwards friend and never yours." I could feel tears falling down my cheek. I looked at Rosalie's glare, then Alice pain. _I can't handle this anymore. _I got up and ran out the door, with tear running freely. _God, I'm never going to live with myself. Edward wanted to marry me, what good would that have done? I was going to die._ I thought to myself.

I ran out of the building run to a tree, I fell to the floor, crying, crying like I've never cried. Why, why are they here? I don't want them to be here, I came here to get a new start. They just broke me into piece I will never fix.

I moved back to the tree where it is behind my back, I pull my legs up to my chest, putting my face in my knees, crying.

I feel as if I can't breathe.

"Bella?" The voice that never will hurt me. I looked up to see Emmett my beautiful once called older brother. I whip my tears of my face quickly, trying to make sure he doesn't see them.

Emmett moves over next to me.

"Well hello little Bells. What happened?" I look up at him, wondering how he's not mad at me.

"Jasper gave me a little talk." He smiles.

"I've missed my little Bells." He says.

"I've missed my big brother bear." He grins so big, it looks like it hurts.

"You remember my nickname." I nod, how could I forget it?

"Rose is going to hate me for talking to you." His smile turning into a frown.

As soon as he said her name I burst into tears. Emmett puts an arm around me.

"No, need to cry over her." He says softly. "She'll come around."

"She…told…me…Edward…was…going…to…ask…me…to…marry…him." I tried saying through my tears.

"She did what?" He asks mad.

"She said she would never tell you that." Emmett said to himself. I look up at him. He reaches down and whips my tears off my face.

"How did you find Rose?" He asks. I sniff.

"She and Alice are my roommates." Emmett's face turns into horror.

"Oh, God, Bella." He says in shocked.

"Yeah." I look down.

"And she's already told you off?"

"As soon as she walked in the door."

"Well you're going to have one heck of a year, because, um Edwards walking this way." My heart goes wild. He looks at Emmett then me. His face turns bright red.

"Emmett." He says so mad. I look at Emmett and he just smiles.

"Yes, Eddie?" He asks.

I just sat there in shock.

"Don't call me that." Then he looks at me.

"What in the world are you doing here?" His voice had hate pouring out of it.

I didn't know if I could talk. Just looking at him made me feel really sick, he was going to ask me to marry him. I gasp.

"I go…to…s-school h-ere." I couldn't speak clearly, because I was trying to keep the tears from falling. I put my face in Emmett's shoulder, trying to not look at Edward.

Emmett's arm tightened around me.

"Well that's just wonderful, there goes my year." He says mad. I could feel the tears falling now.

"Bella-Boo, Emmett, oh God, Edward?" I know this voice, its Jaspers. Jasper touches my arm.

"Thank God you're alright Bella." I look up. He sees my teary eyes. "Maybe." He says quickly.

"Edward leave her alone, she didn't know we were going to school here, so don't get all mad at her."

"Don't get mad at her! Since when are you on her side?" I flinched away from his anger.

"Edward you scaring her, stop!" Edward looks at me, I can feel the hate he had for me.

"I'm scaring her, well at least I didn't break her heart, like she did mine." He storms off. I start crying again. Jasper comes and sits next to me taking my hand in his. I was gasping for air now, I can't let them see me like this.

"G-g-guys…you're going…to g-g-get in…t-trouble with…Rosalie and Alice." I said still trying to breath.

"Bella you're our sister and where not going to leave you like this." Jasper says.

"Yeah Bells." Emmett agrees with Jasper.

"But you love them." I say.

"We love you too." Emmett says. I smile.

"Promise me you won't pick me over them, I'm not good for you to be around." I told them.

"Bella we would never leave you."

"If they make you leave me, go. I don't want to hurt you all again, and if I have to go then so be it." I look at them.

"You really are a great person Bella." I shake my head.

"No, I'm not. I've done thing to you I can take back, but I'll try to make up for them." I say. Emmett and Jasper both kissed my head at the same time.

**Well I hope you enjoyed, tell me what you think, and if you like the way the stories going =) Thanks**

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	6. That hate I have for her

**Hey y'all I just want to tell you sorry for not updating sooner, been having problems with the computer, we got a hacker =(**

**Secondly Candi Marie Cullen and I have agreed that were crazy. Hahahah (That's for you Candi!) =)**

**Onto the story now!**

I am so afraid to go back to my dorm room, Alice and Rosalie hate me, why in the world would they want me to be in the same building as me? Or even the same room? I can't stand to see them again, why did God put us in the same school? What can I do, I can't get another dorm room, I already asked, and I'm pretty sure Rosalie and Alice asked to.

Walking into the lounge room, it is pretty late at night so people weren't really in here. I went and lay on the couch, I guess I'll sleep here tonight. I will let Rosalie and Alice have the room to their self's for a few days. I just have to make sure no one see me sleeping in here.

They'll probably think I'm out with some guy all day and night, but I really don't care if they think that. I mean what else would they think? I'm a girl who just started college and I cried the first few weeks here.

Now sitting here all I could think about is that Edward was going to ask me to marry him. I mean I was so young and dying, why would he want to marry someone he didn't know how long they would live for? That's so stupid, but so cute.

I can't let this bother me, like he feels the same way. I mean I'm the girl that broke his heart, he even said it himself. He will never understand what it took for me to leave him, he was my everything.

He will never see why I had to leave him.

He will never want to understand.

He hates me with everything in his heart.

We will never have a relationship like before.

All of them will always have some hate for me in their hearts.

Jasper and Emmett say they don't, but I'm sure they do.

I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off to a nightmare that brings horror into my nights.

(**EPOV) **

Seeing Bella here killed me.

Why in the word is she here, is she following me or something?

Why does my family always pick her over their own brother and friend?

AGH!

I hate her!

She can never leaves me alone, I was hoping to come here so I didn't run into her. And guess what I did in the first hour of being here!

This is going to be one heck of a year.

My brother and best friend already picked her over me.

Rose and Alice won't.

At least there here for me, and they don't like Bella as much as I do.

Even know I have stronger feeling against her.

I was going to ask her to marry me after all.

What a stupid move on my behalf.

Bella saved me by leaving me.

Even if I didn't see it then.

I would have hated being married to her.

Well that's what I've been trying to tell myself for three years.

I would have loved for her to have been my wife.

Wait, STOP that Edward!

You hate her remember!

But I just can't make myself hate her, she's just...Bella is my life, or was should I have said.

But she can't be now.

She's nothing to me.

Getting out of my thoughts I walked to the lounge room, to see if I can get away from Jasper and Emmett. I need to get my thoughts in place before I face them.

I open the door and walked over to the couch.

I froze.

Bella was sleeping right in front of me.

Why is she sleeping in here?

I gaze at her, watching her sleep like I use to do all the time.

I wander if she will talk.

I couldn't help myself.

I sat down on the floor in front of her. Watching.

I waited for her to say something, while I sat watching, my eyes moved around her face.

Remembering her beauty.

"Edward, I'm sorry I left. I had to, you will never understand why. How can I make you see I'm still in love with you?" I froze, she talking about me in her sleep. She still loves me. Why wouldn't I understand why she left me?

I just thought she didn't feel the same for me.

I sat there waiting for her to say more.

"Edward?" Bella says like she's awake. For a moment I thought she is, then she rolled over.

"I'm sorry." Her soft voice says.

I can't hear this anymore!

I jump up from the floor and ran out the door.

She's doing it again!

I can't fall for her again.

She'll break my heart again.

I'm not going to tell anyone about this.

I ran up to Alice and Rose's dorm room, knocking on the door.

"Shush I'm coming." Alice answer the door.

Her face softens when she sees me.

"Edward?"

"Oh he must have saw the devil." Rose says.

"Come in Edward. But Bella will be back any minute." Alice says. No, she won't.

"Wait what?" I ask them.

"Bella's are new roomy." Now I understand why she's sleeping in the lounge room.

"Oh."

"Are you sure you want to stay here, why she lives with us?"

"Just for a moment I'll stay." Even know I know she's not coming, but I don't feel like telling them that.

"I'm guessing you saw her." I nod. I put my head in my hands.

"Were sorry Edward." They hug me.

"I can't do it. I can't live here, if she's going to be here. It hurt so much." I try not to cry.

"Edward just cry it won't hurt anyone but yourself if you keep it in." Alice tells me. So I did.

"I have to go, I can't see Bella." I got up and ran out of the room.

With Rose and Alice calling after me.

**(APOV)**

After Edward left Rose started looking around the room for something.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for Bella's dairy." She says simply.

"Rose! That not your place to do."

"You know you want to read it to. Huh." She pulls out Bella's dairy. I can't help it I want to know how she feels.

I move over to my bed and Rose comes and sits next to me.

"Okay we will not tell anyone we did this, promise." Rose told me.

"Promise. I'll read first." I take it out of Rosalie's hands, and open it to the night she left us.

_Dear dairy, date May 21_

_Today I left Edward and it was the hardest thing I could ever do, but I did it so he wouldn't get hurt. I know he will hate me for it, but he will understand if I die. I made sure that my parents would give Edward and his family little note of why I did it. That's only if I die though. It is my first day of treatment, and I'm in so much pain, my stomachs not holding anything down. My hair is falling out. I'm just lay in the hospital bed, with my dad sleeping in the chair across from me. I know I'll be sick for a long time, but that pain is not as bad as leaving Edward and my other friends. That pain will never go away. My parent had asked me where they where today, I told them they couldn't make it. I will never be the same after this day._

I just stared at Bella's hand writing. I couldn't help but feel pain for her.

"Here I'll read the next one. Let's see a month after she left." Rose said talking it out of my hands. Her voice reads it.

_Dear dairy, date June 21_

_My life is now nothing...I have hurt and lost the people I love. I no longer look like the old Bella, I look like a sick weak person I don't even know. I've lost a lot of weigh, I shaved my hair off of my head. I don't eat much anymore. I left school, I didn't want to be the person everyone feels sorry for. I didn't want to hurt the people I love, who still go there. My life will never be the same. They all hate me. I can understand why, I'm the one that broke their hearts. I'm the worst person in the world and I will for always be sad by that. My parent have ask why they never come over. I just tell them something stupid and walk away. I don't want them to hate the Cullen's, it's not their fault at all. For now and always I'm alone._

"I think we should stop!" I say taking it from her, and putting it back.

"Alice!" She yells.

"No, I'm not going to read anymore. How would you like for her to read your diary?" I couldn't read this anymore, it hurts me.

"Come on." She pleads.

"No." I walk over to the light and turn it off, and I get back into my bed. I wonder why Bella's not here.

"Where the crap is Bella any why." Rose say getting into the bed.

"I don't know."

"She's probably with some guy."

"I don't think so, Rose." I said closing my eyes.

**Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review your thoughts. =)**


	7. Acting?

**Hey y'all thanks for the wonderful reviews! So I'm like really in love with 'owl city', who else likes them?**

**Enjoy this new chapter please tell me what you think.**

**Oh and question, what kind of theme should I have for my birthday? (Not twilight. =( it make me sad to) My friends don't like twilight (I know crazy, but I'm not going to make them like it =) Well if you have any Idea please tell me =)**

I woke up in some room, then I remember that I slept in the lounge room. I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something is going happen. I don't know what is, I just feel weird. Like my life is going to change, it doesn't feel like when I got cancer. I don't feel tired, sick, I can breathe. I just feel like something is going to happen and I don't know if it's bad or good.

I get up from the couch in pain, for me it hurts to sleep on the couch. I look around to see people staring at me, what have they never seen a girl sleeping on a couch before?

"There's nothing to see here on your go!" Well I didn't say that, I was surprised to who did say it. He hates me why is he helping me?

I look at him confused.

"Umm thanks Edward." I said, I didn't know what he want from me, yesterday he's sending me hateful looks, and now his helping me. What is with him? I will never understand guys, I truly will never understood Edward, for he is the guy I love. Even if he hates me.

"Yeah." His voice still has that hate in it, he walks away. I'm so confused.

Well I need to change, what it's about six thirty. So if I'm quiet then I won't wake Rosalie and Alice. I stroll to my dorm, I'll get in and out without being seen. That all. I unlock the door quietly. When the door is open all the way, I see Alice sitting in her bed with a worried look on her face. When she sees me her face turns normal.

"Bella I was so worried!" She jumps up from her bed. What? Wait she hates me, this day is so confusing, are they all on some kind of mood meds or something.

"What?" She let me go quickly.

"Never mind." My gosh my heads going to blow.

"Okay, well let me get out of you way." I moved over to my dresser, and got some jeans and a blue blouse out. My under stuff too, just all the stuff I need. I walked back to the door.

"Bella wait..." I turned around.

"Yeah?" She looks around.

"Uh...you forgot you hair brush." It sounded like she wanted to say something else but she stopped herself.

"Hmm okay. Thanks...I guess." I closed the door.

After showering and all my girl like things, I was done, so I marched out of the bathroom, time for breakfast.

I walked into one of the eating areas and got in line. The line move way to slowly.

"Next." One of the girls said.

I smile.

"Can I get an egg sandwich and hash browns?"

"And I'll have two of those." I looked over to see Emmett and Jasper.

"Me too, but only one." The girl looks at me, she was confused.

I just nodded.

"You're going to pay me back." I told them. They smiled at me.

"Of course." They say at the same time, I laugh.

"Okay it will be out in a few." She says after I pay her. I looked over trying to find somewhere to eat. I walked, I stopped Emmett from coming.

"You're bringing the food." I ordered him.

"Man you scary." Jasper laughs at what Emmett said.

"You know it." I smile. Jasper puts his arm around my shoulder.

"How was the sleep with my girls?" He asks. I can't lie.

"I wouldn't know." I say sitting down.

"What?" His voice is puzzled.

"I slept on the couch in the lounge room."

"Bella!" I look up at him, he has a mad look on his face.

"You don't need to be doing that!"

"Yes, I do I have to let them have what peace they have left." I say closing the subject.

"Bella."

"No, I can do what I want, end of subject." I tell him. Emmett comes to the table with a grin.

"Whoa, who died?" His says this because Jasper and I are glaring at each other.

"Emmett-"

"Don't you dare." I cut him off.

"What is going on?" Emmett asks sitting next to me.

"Bella slept in the lounge room on the couch!" Jasper says before I could stop him. Emmett looks at me.

"What?" His voice is mad to.

"I didn't want them to hate being here because I'm here, they should have an awesome college year too. I don't want to be the one who ruins it for them to, I already have Edwards year. Why should I do it to them too?" I said, almost in tears.

"Hey...guys..." We look up to see Edward, Alice and Rosalie staring at us. I guess they heard everything I said.

I got up from my seat.

"I'm going to go."

"Bella you didn't even eat." Jasper says.

"I know, eat in peace." I moved away from the table.

**(EPOV)**

She left us there alone. I was just standing there in shock. I looked at Jasper and Emmett.

Did I really just hear her say she made my life here bad. Well I did say that myself.

Jasper glares down at the table.

I sit down.

"Wow she can't leave us alone can she. She probably just sat with you guys without even asking." Rose and her big head said.

"No, we sat with her, she pay for our food for us, because we kind of made her."

"Why in the heck our you hanging out with her?" Rose asks, you can hear the venom pouring out of her voice.

"Because Rose she's are sister!" Jasper says.

"Well I'm you blood related sister and you pick her over me!" She screams.

"Well at least she has a heart." He tells her.

"I told you not to pick me over them." I look up to see Bella standing there with tears in her eyes. Oh how my heart aches. They gasps.

"My gosh she even listens to our conversations too!" Rose is getting mad.

"No, I left my purse." She reaches over me. I stopped breathing.

"I'm sorry for killing your peace." She looks at Rose when she says this. Then she looks at Jasper and Emmett, her beautiful face turns to pain.

"If it helps you guys, I want you to stop talking to me, I told you not to pick me. Now leave me alone." She walks over, I can see her bring a sleeve up to her face, whipping away tears. My heart just starts to hurt. I look over at Emmett and Jasper, they look ready to cry as well.

"Well that's was a wonderful little act she has there! Why does she always have to play around with us." Rose says.

"I don't think she was playing." I say getting up, I'm trying not to break, why must Bella always do this to me? They look at me.

"You're on her side, the girl who broke your heart." Rose asks.

"No, but your head is turning to big and it going to pop at any moment and I don't want to be here to see it." She is so vain! I walk away quickly out the door.

Bella is going to kill me one day. I can't stand it, she's so selfless. She left me so I wouldn't get hurt, and she wants me to have the best year here. Well what about her, she doesn't seem to be enjoying herself. Maybe one day Rose will start being like her. Because all Rose cares about is herself. Bella is truly to good for me, but I will never forgive her, because I'm not a selfless person like her, I want myself to be happy. I don't want her in my life.

I think if I let her in, she'll leave me again.

My heart can't handle that.

**(JPOV)**

"Rose, you're so vain. Bella is trying to let you have a good year, even when she's here. Did you know she slept on a couch in the lounge room, so you would have a better year, everything she is doing is for you! And for us.

"She left us so we wouldn't be hurt when she dies, she thought that if she left then when we weren't so close it would be easier for us. But she doesn't understand the hold she has on us, she doesn't see herself clearly. And all you can think about is yourself, even when she's in pain to. You were probably thinking of yourself when she was having treatment. You need help Rose, and until you can learn to stop being a butt I'll talk to you again."

I look over at Alice.

"And as for you, I'll always love you and I hope you'll stay my girlfriend even if Rose and I are not talking." She smiles.

"Of course Jazzy!" She hugs me.

"Now I'm going to find Bella, and I'll let you guys think, because Rose, I would much rather have a sister like Bella who cares for people other than herself, and not one as vain as you." I get up, running out of the door.

I ran looking for Bella.

Oh how I hope I find her.

**(BPOV) (Three hours after classes)**

I got into my truck.

I have to see my parents.

I drove as fast as I could, I can't hold it anymore, I will cry when I'm there.

I make it in a few minutes, because I'm driving like crazy. I run to their grave. I fall to my knees, crying my heart out.

"Oh mom and dad how much I wish you were here to help me though this year, everyone hates me and I don't know what to do."

"Why did you have to leave me here alone, to face the world without you is so hard." I lay on their graves trying to feel them, I just cried my eyes out.

It started to rain on me and it was really cold outside maybe like in the thirties.

After awhile of sitting in the rain, I started to feel really cold, I sneezed. I got up and decided I should go to the ER. I hope Carlisle isn't still there.

I got in the car and drove to the hospital. I walked through the door, when the nurse saw me she gasped. I guess I look pretty bad.

"Get a wheel chair." She yelled. "Where's Dr. Cullen?" She yells, they bring out the wheel chair and make me sit.

She moves to the phone and turns it onto speakerphone, so that it is going down the hall into every room.

"Dr. Cullen, paging Dr. Cullen. Please hurry to the front desk." Her voice echoes through the halls.

A few seconds later I see Carlisle running down the hall. When he see me, he walks over to my side.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine really." I tried to say through my sour throat. I cough. He brings his hand up to my forehead.

"She burning up. Bella what where you doing."

"I was outside lay on my parent graves, crying my eyes out." I said out loud. DANG!

"You where? Can I ask why."

"Your family is breaking my heart." I told him softly, I don't have a father anymore, and he's the closes to it. He feels like a father to me.

"Bella do I need to call them?" His voice drifts off in the background. My world start going black.

"Bella..._Bella...Bella..."_His voice is gone now.

**(CPOV)**

After I got Bella under control and hooked up to an IV, I picked up my phone and call Edward.

"Hello?" His voice sounds upset.

"Son Bella's here in the hospital with me."

"What, is she okay? I'll get everyone else well be there in a few."

"Son-" He hung up. Well that wasn't what I wanted, and I thought Edward didn't like Bella anymore.

**(EPOV)**

"Jasper, Emmett, it's Bella she's at Dads hospital. Emmett go get the girls."

"Edwards what's wrong with her?" Jasper asks freaking out.

"I hung up before he could tell me."

"Edward!" Jasper and I got our coats and ran to our cars, meeting the girls.

"What's happening Edward?" Alice asks me.

"I don't know but we have to go to the hospital to help Bella." My heart was going crazy. What if the cancers back, I can't live with her not in the world.

We all jumped into my car, I speed down the road, trying to get to the hospital that's one hour away. It was getting later it was like almost eight now. Good thing it the weekend is tomorrow. That mean we won't miss anything.

I guess I'm trying to get the thought of Bella out of my head, just the thought of her lay in the bed alone sick. Her parents dead, and she thinks we hate her.

I can't bear the thought of her dying, as much as I couldn't before. I didn't want her to see me before, I was a mess. I would hide my pain for her and everyone else in my family. She didn't know how much I cared for her, how everything she did made me love her even more, even know, her smile still makes my heart jump. When I saw her crying in my brothers arms my heart couldn't help but ache for her to be happy. To think it's my fault. Seeing her face when I told her I didn't want her to be in the same school with me, I felt like a monster. Her face look so hurt, I wanted to just hit myself right then and there, I may have not seen it then but I know my heart is in so much pain, its aching for her. Her to touch me, just to look at me like she use to, to have her in my arms, to hold her to my body.

But I might not ever feel that again.

I turn into the hospital entrance.

We all jumped out of the car and ran to the entrance. Mom was waiting for us, she looks tired.

"Mom how's Bella?"

"We don't know yet honey."

"Well what happened?" Just when I asked Dad come out to the entrance.

"Edward we have her on an IV because we don't know what's happening, so were taking blood from her. And running test on her." Just when he says this his beeper goes off.

"Oh no." He runs down the hall. He runs into Bella's room. "Doctor she's going into cardiac arrest." The nurse screams. I look at my family.

Beepppppppppppppppppppp.

We sit there shocked.

She gone.

I fall to the floor, how could I have been so rude to her, I should have fought for her when she left me. I should have told her how much she meant to me.

Now I'll never have her in my arms again.

I'll never feel her lips to mine.

I start crying.

**(RPOV)**

No, she can't be gone, the last thing I did to her was yell at her. I loved her like a sister and now she's gone...

**(JPOV)**

She gone...

**(APOV)**

I could feel tears falling down my face...

**(EMPOV)**

WHY!

**(ESMEPOV)**

My dearest daughter is gone...

**(EPOV)**

NO, no, no, no, no, no, she can't be gone it's not true.

Is this some sick joke?

How will I live? She was my everything even when she thought I hated her.

She will never know how much I adored her.

Beep...Beep...Beep

I could hear the heart monitor starting back up.

HOW?

Beep...Beep...Beep

How could this be, she was gone.

Beep...Beep...Beep

She's really alive.

My love is alive.

Beep...Beep...Beep

Thank you God!

Carlisle comes out of her hospital room.

"Well she's a fighter." He say breathless. You could see sweat coming down his face.

"How?" Was all I could say.

"CPR." He tells me back. His sleeves are rolled up, he whips his sweat on his shirt.

"She was dead...Her heart stop all together. I tried all I could, her heart wouldn't start up...I was about to turn the monitor off, then her heart started back up, it's like she couldn't leave the world." He says still out of breath.

"Can I see her?" I couldn't handle being away from her any longer.

"Yes." He tells me. I walk slowly over to her room. I feel as if my family is following me.

"Let him go alone, he needs to do this." I can hear Alice telling them. For that I was thankful.

I moved closer to her room. I open the door to see my sweet Bella lay there not moving, the only thing that I was sure she was still alive was the monitor.

I sat down next to her. Taking her hand in mine.

"I'm sorry love." Was all I could get out at the moment. I felt tears fall down my face.

I breathed in.

"I should have forgiven you a long time ago. You could have died right now, and I wouldn't have been able to hold you in my arms or say how sorry I am for yelling at you.

"For hating you all those years, because you left me. I didn't know until I thought you were here dying that I can't live without you.

"Your my life, and will always be. What will I have to do to get you back in my life?" I couched back my tears. Bella's eyes open slowly.

"Edward?" Her soft voice goes through me like a knife.

I'm never leaving her again!

**Longest chapter ever! YEAH! Review please...I did this just for my beautiful readers, since you've been wanting longer chapters made you guys one!**

**RUNNER(new nickname!)**


	8. My fault, all my fault

**Hey y'all Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. You guys are the best =) Well here is the next chapter yea!**

_**Recap.**_

_"I'm sorry love." Was all I could get out at the moment. I felt tears fall down my face._

_I breathed in._

_"I should have forgiven you a long time ago. You could have died right now, and I wouldn't have been able to hold you in my arms or say how sorry I am for yelling at you._

_"For hating you all those years, because you left me. I didn't know until I thought you were here dying that I can't live without you._

_"You my life, and will always be. What will I have to do to get you back in my life?" I couched back my tears. Bella's eyes open slowly._

_"Edward?" Her soft voice goes through me like a knife._

_I'm never leaving her again!_

**(Edwardpov)**

"Yes, love it's me." She smiles softly.

"Am I dreaming?" I chuckle. "Because you haven't called me that in forever." She frowns.

"Yep, I'm dreaming. Now when I wake up I'm going to be dead."

"Love, you not dreaming, I'm really calling you love."

"Wow, what the heck happened then. And why are you talking to me again?" She had the cutest confused look on her face.

"Well Dad called me and told me that you were here, I didn't know why you would be here so I got everyone here and we came just when you heart stopped." She flinched.

"I died?"

"Well...yes. But you came back. The whole time your heart was stopped I couldn't stop think about you and how I never got to say I was sorry for the way I've been treating you. I didn't want to lose you forever. You did hurt me a long time ago, but I know why now...Bella I never stopped loving you." I could see tears falling down her face.

"I could hurt you again, you should hate me. I'm the worst person an earth, how can you forgive me for what I've done." I move closer to her.

"Because Bella your my everything." She shakes her head.

"I can't be, how can I be anyone everything, I'm not a good person...I'm not good enough for you Edward." How could she think that. I take her face in my hands.

"How could you say that, Bella I've said this many times before but you don't see yourself clearly. Bella I'm not good enough for you." She look in my eyes.

"Edward I'm sorry for all I've done to you." She say in a whisper.

"I know, you had you reasons." With my thumbs I whip away the tears that are falling down her cheek.

"Bella can I ask you what you're doing here in Forks, or even at my Dad hospital." She blush my favorite blush, it still makes my heart skip a beat.

"I don't want to tell you." I frown.

"Please." I pleaded.

"Well I came to see my parents, and I was crying on their grave, it started to rain. I really didn't care it was freezing cold and it was raining, I just wanted my parents to hold me like they use to and the only way I could even feel a little bit like they were was to stay the on top of the graves." My body was in pain now, my poor Bella was crying in the rain because of us, and she almost died because of us. I just couldn't move.

"You got sick because of us." I look behind me to see who said that, it was Rosalie. Bella shakes her head.

"No, I was just too stupid to get up." Bella looks down. Everyone comes into the room.

"Bella you wouldn't even be out here if I didn't say those things about you." Rosalie look so in pain.

"That's not true. It my fault for it all so don't blame yourself." Bella made herself smile. I look over at Rose and can see the tears falling down her face.

"Oh Bella, stop it we all know it's my fault."

"No!" We all look at Bella. "It's my fault I left, I ruined you life, I broke your hearts, this is all on my head. I came here, I was stupid and stayed lay in the freezing rain, I'm the one who had to get the cancer that ruined all of your life's. It's me not you!" She yelled, she was shaking and tears are pouring down her face. "It was me." She say softly. I put my hands on her shoulders, I can't help but feel pain for her.

"Bella." I say softly. She doesn't look at me, she just close her eyes. "Bella look at me." She shake her head no.

"Bella you didn't ruin our life's you made them better. I was a cold hearted person before you came along, and you softened me up. Bella you don't know the hold you had on all of us, that's why it hurt so bad when you left, you were are family. You were my...everything." I felt tears fall down my face. I couldn't help it, I hate seeing her do this to herself, I may look like a wimp. But I'm a wimp who love this breath taking person in front of me. Bella opens her eyes.

"Oh Edward." She put her arms around my neck and pulls me down so my face in on her shoulder. "I'm not worth crying over honey." She says.

"That's just the thing, you are." I guess the guys couldn't take it anymore because they ran over to over to us and crushed us into a hug.

"We missed are happy family." We all hugged each other.

After a few minutes of just hugging each other. Dad said.

"Well time for everyone to leave, are little Bella need to sleep." Carlisle puts some meds into her IV. Her eyes start to close, but then they opened, everyone left but me.

"Bella close your eyes." She shakes her head, so stubborn.

"Bella I'll be here when you wake up." Her face turns into pain.

"I'm afraid this is all a dream and you still hate me, and everyone else does to." Pain shoots all over my body.

"I promise you, this is not a dream, and I'll be here when you wake up." I kiss her forehead. She smiles, letting her eyes close.

"I love you Edward." She whispers before drifting off to sleep.

"I love you to."

**Well sorry its short, but I need to update another story and I need to do things today, but here you go. Review =)**

**Runner!**


	9. He is crying

**Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I did =) I want to tell everyone to feel free on message me anytime with ideas on my stories because I need a few for this one =) so if you have any please.**

**Okay so I'm reading this really good fan fiction called 'Nara' by RachyDoolde so people try to read it. Oh and if you like me saying the stories I'm read please tell me and I'll keep doing it. =)**

**So people have been telling me I make them cry (In a good way) I'm just so happy that I can write that good that you can cry over it (In a good way, hahah) I wouldn't want to make you cry because I'm a bad writer hahahaha.**

**Oh and please go and vote on my polls =) Thanks for taking you time to read my a/n =) Oh and I'm was listing to the New moon (the score) CD while writing =)**

**Now on to the story! Yeah**

Well I'm getting ready to go home to the Cullen's house; Carlisle said I would be watch there so I didn't have to stay here. He also wants me to take a few days off of school so I can rest and take it easy. He called my college and told them what happened, they said they would send what school I have this week so I didn't get behind. It is only my first week.

I still can't believe that Edward said he's always loved me, even after what I did. I'm really not worth loving. I can't see why he would love me; I can see why I do but not why he does.

I guess we're just going to have to grow with each other and see what happens along the way. Love the idea of that.

To be with Edward again is the best idea in the world, but I'm going to have to let him in, to trust whatever happens he will be there for me no matter what happens.

I don't think I can let him go again if something does happen, I did it before and I don't want to do it again. It hurts to bad. I felt like I had my whole heart ripped out of my chest, like I didn't have anything left in me. I felt like I was a hole just standing in the world, alone.

I still feel that way since I truly haven't let the fact that Edward loves me set in. I'm still afraid he hates me; I know I'm being stupid. But what would you feel after three years? Would you feel the same like you did before when you were together, no. You have to build up to that love you had, it takes time to let people in. It will never truly be the same. I've been through too much to think that everything last forever. I don't think it all last forever. My parents didn't, but that was up to God to take them away from me. Everything in this world is not a random act it's all up to God. I know it hurts me to lose them so much but that's just one of Gods plans in my life. I just got to trust that this is to.

I jump at a knock at the door. My gosh I don't have a shirt on.

"Hold on." I say loudly. I quickly run over to my clothes which Alice got me. And put on the blue shirt.

"Come in." I say. I make sure I have everything on. I do. I look up to see Edward smiling at me.

"Hello." He says still grinning.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Because I get to see you and drive you to my house."

"Oh okay." I turn around to get my bags. But Edward takes them for me.

"I got it." He says walking out the door.

"Edward please don't start with that, you know I hate it when people help me." I move after him, the nurse stops me.

"Isabella, you need to get into the wheel chair." I scowl.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, my dear." I know that voice, standing behind the nurse is Carlisle.

"Why." I cry like a baby.

"I'm your doctor and I said so."

"Fine." I murmur. Carlisle laughs as I put my arms around my chest. The nurse wheels me to Edwards grey Volvo. I see Edward putting in my bags.

"Okay Bella so I checked you out, I have all the stuff sent up at home, and I will be right behind you on the way home." Carlisle said.

"Oh you don't have to go home just because of me, I pretty sure I can handle it." He smiles.

"I'm the doctor and I'm talking the week off."

"I hope not just for me."

"Of course not, well not a little of it."

"Carlisle." I glare at him.

"Bella we haven't seen you in a long time, I want to and that's the end of it." As he walks away I hear his saying something about me being stubborn. Edward laughs, I glare at him.

"Love its true." He says simply.

"Whatever." Edward reaches his arms out for me I take them and he helps me up. "Thanks."

"Anything for you love." He says helping me to the car. I get in and Edward lets go of my arms.

"Goodbye Sarah." I say to the nurse.

"Goodbye dear, I'll see you soon." Well she's probably right, I'll have to come in back for something some day. Edward comes over to the driver's side and puts his seat belt on. He put the car in drive and drives down the road. We won't be in the car for long, their house is ten minutes away.

Edward and I don't really talk, we just sit. After awhile of being in the car we turn into dirt road I've been down so many times. I look at all the trees, nothing has changed.

When we got to the house I almost started crying, I missed coming here, I missed all my friends, who are more than friends their family.

I didn't hear Edward get out of the car, but he was now opening my door. I put my arms around his neck, he pulls me out of the car, and brings me to his chest.

"I've missed you Bella." He holds me tightly to his chest.

"You don't know how long I've wanted you to hold me." I whisper.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hold you." He tells me back. I smile against his chest. I felt something hot hit my shoulder of my shirt. I push Edward away a little so I could look at him. He has tears falling down his face, my heart aches.

"Edward, honey what's wrong?" I ask.

"I thought I was going to lose you again, I can't bear the thought of that, I lost you before and I don't want it to happen again." I look down, I can't believe I've gave him this kind of pain.

"I'm so sorry." I say to him. He brings his finger to my chin lifting it up so I'm looking in his eyes.

"Bella it's not always just you, I just loved you so much it broke my heart for you to leave me." I felt like bring up him asking me to marry him but stopped myself. We still need time to get to know each other again.

"Okay…I try to stop blaming myself." I tell him he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Let's go inside." He says. He lets go of me but leaves an arm around my shoulders to help me walk because I'm still sick. I yawn.

"Are you tired?" He asks me. I smile shyly.

"You can go to bed in your room." He says to me.

"My room?" I ask confused.

"Yeah we turned the guest room into a room for you." I scowl.

"What?"

"Bella don't be stubborn. Mom did a lot of work for you to use it." He tells me.

"In one night?" I look at him.

"Well you know my mom; she's been doing it since we went off to college." I gasp.

"How did she know to do it?"

"It's Esme Bella; she knew we would end up liking each other again." Wow it's like she's physic. Scary.

"Be nice to her about it, she loves you like her daughter." He orders.

"Fine." I cross my arms around my chest. We walk into the house, everyone was standing there.

"SURPRISE!" They scream, making me jump two feet in the air.

I glare at Edward.

"What is this?" I ask them. Emmett runs to me picking me in his arms like normal.

"Bells!" He yells.

"Teddy bear." I laugh hugging him tightly. He pushes me back a little so he can show me his smile. I smile back. He puts me down so everyone else can hug me. Jasper picks me up quickly before everyone else.

"Bella-boo." He smiles, his warm body hugs me.

"Well hello JazaJel." Everyone laughs at my old nickname for him.

"I missed being called that." He says.

"Yeah it was always weird which works for Jasper." Rose says. Jasper glares at her.

"Hey!" He puts me down and walks over to Rose. She steps back. "That's what I thought." He laughs. Alice gives me a hug next, then Esme, Carlisle, last is Rose. She gives me a long hug.

"I'm sorry."

"It's still okay."

"Let's go talk, Alice you coming?" She asks, Alice nods. Oh this is one of their many girl talks. I look at Edward for help. He shakes his head.

"Baby." I murmur.

Rose takes my hand and moves me up stairs with her. We go to Alice's room, it looks like it did so many years ago. Rose tells me to sit. I take a deep breath.

"Okay I'm ready for what you have to tell me." They look at each other.

"What do you think it's bad?" Alice asks.

"Yes." They laugh.

"We just wanted to talk to you about Edward."

"Oh tell me." I say.

"Have you told him yet that you know he was going to ask you to marry him?" Rose asks.

I shake my head.

"Why."

"I don't want to upset him." I tell them.

"Bella you're going to have to tell him you know sometime." Alice tells me.

"I know just not know okay, please I just want to wait." I tell.

"Okay well be here for you when you tell him." I smile, I feel so happy to have the friendship back even if I've only had it for a day.

**Well there you go, please if you didn't read my A/N please read it thanks you. Review, review. You'll make my day =) Oh night hahhah**

**RUNNER**


	10. Pain in my stomach

**You guy would have never guess what I'm about to do, hahaha.**

**Thanks for the many reviews y'all gave I'm so grateful, enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

Alice, Rose and I heard the door bell ring so we went down stairs to see who it; I haven't seen her since high school. She is the evil who is a horror to this world. She was the one person who hated me for everything I did. Hated me for having Edward and she didn't.

"Eddie!" Her high pitched voice yells she jumps into Edward's arms.

"Lauren?" Edward asks. He looks at me still with her in his arms, I cross my arms around my chest. Rose puts her arms around me. Well this was different.

"Why are you so surprised to see your girlfriend?" She asks. My heart breaks. I move close to Rose trying to keep myself in hold. Why would I cry when he just told me he never stopped loving me and he has a girlfriend? Oh it's alright, he just want to hurt me back.

"Lauren get off." He says pushing her. She scowls at him; Edward keeps his stares at me. She looks at what he's looking at. She comes running to me with a look to kill on her face.

"What are you doing here? You've already killed every ones hearts here and now your back to do it again. My gosh Bella what is wrong with you." She slaps me. I bring my hand to my face; tear falling out of my eyes.

"Why can't you see you don't belong here?" I move out of Rose's arms and head for the door, but Edward grabs my wrist. I shake my head and his pleading face. I pull my arm away and run out of the house into the woods, where Edward and I use to walk, there's a swings back there. I just need to get away and think. I run through the woods to the swings. I sit down on it, closing my eyes and swing.

The wind runs through my hair, my legs moving back and forth. I take a deep breath trying to calm my stomach.

How could he date her? She is so not good for him; well she's probably better for him then me. But he shouldn't have told me he's still loves me when he has a girlfriend, and it's Lauren…

I bring my head into my hands.

Why does it always have to be me?

_Crack._

_Crack._

I take my hands out of my face to see Jasper and Emmett coming my way. The both have sad smiles.

"Hey." Jaspers says. I quickly whip the tears from my eyes.

"Hi." I whisper. I look away from them, Emmett sits next to me on the other swing, and Jasper does the same thing. We sit there for who know who long just swinging and not talking.

"Bella?' Emmett asks.

"I'm fine Emmett, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not good enough for him even Laurens better them me." Jasper coughs.

"Bella, are you sick, Lauren will never be better then you." Jasper says trying not to sound rude.

"Bella come back home with us, Esme and everyone else is worried." Emmett tells me.

"I need to think, and I can't do it with Edward and Lauren in the same house as me, I'll come back I promise I just need to think. Please don't tell anyone I'm here." I look at them, they look back. Their eyes show love in them.

"Okay we won't but be back before it gets dark." Jasper tells me.

"I promise." They both get up and come over to me; Emmett gives me a kiss on my head, than Jasper does it. I smile shyly at them and they walk away.

I cough, I'm still sick, so I shouldn't stay out here too long. Just long enough for me to think and get my thoughts together.

One thing that is driving me crazy is why in the world is Edward, beautiful, smart, caring boy dating her. He could do so much better, I'm not saying me just someone who will love him no matter what. Lauren is all about herself and no one else.

Agh!

What is wrong with me? He can have whoever he wants and I'm not going to stand in his way.

I close my eyes, sleep taking over. I lay my head on the swing chain. I yawn and let my thoughts drift away.

* * *

When I wake up the suns going down and my body is cold, the world starts to move. Wait that's just me, I must have the chills.

_Crack._

_Crack. _

The sound it getting closer.

_Crack._

_Crack._

"Jasper, Emmett I know it's almost dark I'm coming." I sit there for a second more.

_Crack._

_Crack._

Why aren't they answering?

I finally turned around.

Oh God save me.

**--------------------------I was going to stop there but it's really short = (-----------------------------**

Their stands a mountain lion, growling at me. I sit there in fear.

I'm going to die.

My heart goes wild.

Stay still.

The loin growls again.

He starts moving closer to me.

I look around for something to hit it with if it jumps at me. When I look back the loin is jumping into the air, coming for me. I fall to the floor, the loin on top of me with its nail going into my stomach. My hands move around on the floor quickly, my life is in my hands. The lion is trying to get to my neck; I bring one of my arms up to his face hitting him in the face as much as I can. He growls out in pain, and takes hold of my arm. I find a big rock next to me and pick it up, it was heavy enough to smash his face, and I bring it up quickly, hitting the loin in the face. It squeals in pain but keeps his pals in my body. I cry out in pain.

"_Help!"_ I scream so loud it hurts.

I keep hitting him in the face anywhere I could to get him off of me. He start to get weaker, I get stronger. I'm fighting for my life, so is he. But his face is not really together anymore. I hit him a few more time he falls to the floor. I move over so I can keep hitting him. His eyes slowly closes, I stop hitting him.

"I'm….sorry." I try to get up; I bring my hands to my now bloody body. I finally get the strength to get up off the floor, it is now getting dark and I can hardly see were I'm going. The sun is just shinning a little now, in about two minutes it well be a black cold night. With a broken body, blood coming out faster than needed. My heart needs to slow down. I take my shirt off and wrap it tightly around my waist to stop the blood from flowing. I try to get out of these woods, to get back to the family who finally loves me. Even if Edward isn't one of them, but everyone else love me. I finally got them back and now I could I'm lost out here bleeding to death. I can feel myself getting dizzy from all this blood, the smell running through my nose. I need to stay awake, I need to do it for my family, and I'm not ready to die. I'm finally happy, even here with all this blood run down my skin. I'm happy because I have peace with my parent's death, with my cancer. All at this time I just want to live. I want to do something in the world.

I want to change people's lives. How many times to I have to almost die to see this?

I want to live.

I start moving around in the wood, not knowing if I'm getting deeper into the woods or if I'm almost out. I want to go back to Edward I want to fight for his love; I want to be in his arms. Even if he has a girlfriend I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight fair thought. I want to be the better person, but if she makes him happy I won't stand in the way. I'll leave and never look back, I'm going to always love him, but if that what I have to do again to let him have a life then so be it.

I stumble, I don't know how long I've been walking but it seem as if I'm not getting any closer to the end of the woods. Like I'm getting farther in.

After stumbling a little more I finally fell to the floor, the cold taking over my body. I close my, trying to stay in the day. I can't fall asleep. I have to get back to the house, I have to get back so I can fight for Edward. I have to get back to hit Lauren. I have to get back to my family.

I try one more time to get up; when I'm up I fall back to the floor. I cry out in pain. It is now dark and I can't see anything around me, I hope someone comes to look for me, or I'm going to bleed to death. I start to cry I don't want to die; I have a life ahead of me. Two live in a little cottage, that's white. Have my children running around in the front yard, to have Edward running around with them. Playing baseball with our son, his cute little face smiling when Edward tells him he is a good player. His little bronze hair going wild in the wind. His little sister in my lap playing with her dolly, telling me how she wants to play baseball but I tell her she's too young to. She starts crying and Edward looks at us, he comes running over to us. He smiles at his daughter, he tells her he will play catch with her when she's older, but when he's done with her brother he'll play house. She gets a big smile and jumps into his arms…

But that will never happen since I'm out here alone.

I'll never walk down the aisle; I'll never have my children. I've never get to see them get married; I'll never be a grandma….and I'll never grow old with Edward.

And that is the hardest things to think about.

I'll never get to see my loving brothers, with the dorky jokes. They goofy smiles, never have them protect me from all the craziness in the world.

To have my sisters tell me about all their gossip, talk to me about crazy stuff. Make me shop all the time, having those late night sleepovers.

To have my second parents, Esme and her loving hugs her sweet words of love. Carlisle to always be there to make me feel better, his wise words that help me through everything.

I'm nothing without my family…….

"_Bella!" _I hear something in the background. It's probably nothing.

"_Bella!" _I've haven't heard these voices before. It's like they are so far away that they not real. My brain must be playing jokes with me; I must be close to my last breath.

"_Bella!"_ My gosh why is my mind playing a sick joke like this on me when I'm going to die?

"_Bella!" _Okay now it's getting closer.

"_Bella?"_ now it sounds like it's in front of me. I look up to see a form in front of me; I didn't know who this is. He moves down to see what's wrong; his face turns into a frown. He quickly picks me up bridal style. I scream in pain.

"Sorry." He says then takes off running; I bit my lip so I don't scream. I don't want him stop running the sooner I see Edward the better, even if a guy I've never met is holding me in his arms and I don't have a shirt on…..

* * *

**Well there ya go, I now more drama. People say they like it and people say I'm taking things to fast, so I did this =)**

**Review and tell me what you think =) =) =)**

**Runner =)**

**p.s. Tell me if you want me to read you stories, I'm sorry but I only read twilight ones. So please tell me which ones you want me to read and I might just put them up in my a/n thx byes.**


	11. Do I know you?

**Hey Y'all!!!! Updating time =) Sorry it took so long for me to update I'm really busy!!! Enjoy =)**

I look at the guy who saved me, he looks weirdly familiar, and he looks like someone I know. I don't really know. I look at his dark skin, short hair, his buff body. This is weird, oh gosh I'm shirtless—embarrassing—this is not a pretty site.

My body starts to hurt like crazy, I moan.

"Bella were almost there, I promise I'll run as fast as possible." His voice sounds so, so familiar.

"O—k—a—y." I say losing my breath, I can't breathe the pain is so overwhelming. I close my eyes trying to think of something different, then I lose all contact with the world, I drift to an almost sleep; you know like when you asleep but you can hear everything out there? Well that's where I am.

The familiar guy slows down…

I don't understand what is happening it's all fogy, I hear people crying asking me if I'm okay…can't there see I'm sleeping, I guess they turn to the guy whose arms I'm in, then I hear Edwards voice telling him to let him take me in his arms then the guys says.

"No, I have her now just back off." He sounds a little mad.

"Hey you don't even know her."

"I know her better then you think and then I hear you breaking her heart…" He must be glaring. "I want you to stay away from her, the only reason I'm here is to let Carlisle to look at her, then I'm putting her in her room and I'm going to stay with her the whole time."

"How do you even know her?" Edward asks him.

"That not for you to know is it?" The guy yells I feel him walking away.

"I know her better then you! If you don't tell me who you are I'm calling the cops!" Edwards yells.

"I was her best friend before she moved here!"…Everything goes blank.

* * *

My eyes slowly open to look in my new room, the room which is in the Cullen's house, the house where my heart was spilt into half…

I look around; my eyes stop at the guy who saved me.

"Who are you?" I ask with a sore throat. He comes and sits next to me, he smiles.

"You don't remember me?" He chuckles. I look at him confused.

"Um…?" I ask.

"I cut my hair, it use to be long." He says smiling.

"I'm sorry I really don't know." I tell him.

"We use to hang out a lot before you moved."

"Which time?" I asked him. I moved so many times I don't know where we met.

"The last time ever." I think, than I remember.

"My gosh you look so different." I scream a little, I try to hug him but I stop because it kind of hurt to move. "Ow!"

"Hey stay down." He says pushing me down gently. "You haven't change a bit." He smiles once I'm lay down again.

"I can't believe you're here, are you following me, Jacob?" _**(For all you Jacob fans!)**_

"No, I moved down here to be with my girlfriend." He says.

"You have a girl friend? Who is it?" I ask him still smiling like crazy.

"Leah Clearwater." He says with a dazzled look on his face.

"Wow, this is so weird."

"Weirder I'm asking her to marry me." I scream a little.

"My best bud is getting married." He smiles.

"Yep."

"Wow I wish my luck was better." I tell him, his face turns sad.

"I've heard about that." He says. I look at him confused. "Alice." I nod. "Bella why didn't you call me, I would have been here for you, and then the whole Edward thing." I frown, man Alice really doesn't know how to shut her mouth.

"You heard about that too?" I ask him.

He nods, gosh this couldn't be more embarrassing.

"Bella we were so close, I would have dropped everything."

"That's why I didn't call I knew you would do anything for me." I close my eyes trying not to cry. Jacob moves closer to me and hugs me softly trying not to hurt me.

"Bella…" He coos.

"I'm sorry, I can't do anything right with my life." I cry in his arms.

"Bella this is just about me is it?' he asks.

"No, I'm so confused."

"Why?" I tell him everything from Edward to all my feelings about everything through my life he has missed.

When I tell him about all about Edward and when I saw him after all those years his face went red.

"Edward was that rude to you?"

"It was my fault I did it all."

"No, Bella not everything is you fault." He says trying to make me feel better, but by now I really don't believe when people tell me that…I'm stubborn. I look down…

"Yes, it is."

"Why do you say that?" He asks me softly.

"I broke the love of my life's heart, than he broke mine…" I told him still looking down.

"Do you want him back?" He asks. I nod. "How bad do you want it?"

"Bad but he has a girlfriend." I tell him.

"I can help you get her lost with." Jacob smiles.

"You would do that?"I ask him.

"Yes, your my best friend, but I need to talk to Leah about it first, you know since she's my girlfriend/almost to be wife."

"Oh I wouldn't want anything to break you up. What's your plan?" I ask him.

"Were going to start dating." He says I blush.

"Uh?" Man this is going to be weird for me, the only boyfriend I have had is Edward and I messed that up…But now Jacob wants to fake date me…this is going to turn out bad.

"Bells it's not like I have really feelings like that for you." He laughs. "Let me go and call my babe then I tell you if our plan will work." He smiles getting his phone out of his pocket.

"Hey babe…well I have something to ask you….it's the matter of love….you know how you can't hide you match making powers…okay I'll tell you…you know my friend Bella I always tell you about…yeah….well she needs our help…yes you can talk to her…yeah but one thing is I have to fake be her boyfriend…I wanted to ask you if that was okay, I mean I only love you baby." He walks over to me and hands me the phone. I bring it to my face scared.

"Um, hello?"

"Bella!" A soft voice yells, I can't tell if she's mad or not.

"Um, yeah?"

"I've heard so much about you." Okay she's not mad.

"Really, didn't know Jacob liked me that much as a friend." I say.

"Ha-ha you don't know him that well then."

"I guess so."

"So…what is this about you dating my boyfriend?" She asks.

"It was his idea, I mean I'm fine with it but I really don't kn—." She cuts me off.

"I'm fine with it only if I can help." I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Of course you can, I guess I'll come over after I get better." I tell her.

"Great, well bye." I hand the phone back to Jacob. He talks to her for a few more minutes. I can't believe were doing this, I mean Edward is worth it but I feel like something's going to mess it all up.

I move the sheet away from my body to check out what I look like; it hurts to move my arms. But I need to know. I make sure Jacobs not look and I pull up my shirt to see my stomach, there is a big white bandage around my stomach. I can see some blood coming out of it.

"Um Jacob you need to go get Carlisle." I tell him. Jacob looks over at me.

"Oh you're bleeding." He runs out of the door. "Carlisle!" I start to get dizzy, the smell is overwhelming, and I close my ears.

"Bella?" I open my eyes to see Carlisle standing in the door way. I half smile.

"Um I think something broke." I tell him. Carlisle walks over to my bed side.

"Bella I know this is going to be weird but I need to take that bandage off." I blush, doesn't that mean he will see me without a shirt.

"Um…"

"Bella I need to get the bleeding stopped."

"Okay fine." I say this is going to me uncomfortable. Carlisle lets out his hand to help me sit up, I flinch in pain. "Let me go get Esme to help me." He walks off, I sit there with my shirt up, I look at the door and Edward is looking into it.

"Bella…" He pleads.

"Jacob!" I yell, I really don't want to see him and I need to act the roll. Jacob comes running to the door and pushes Edward away.

"What did I sat Eddie boy." Jacob comes over to my side and takes my hand.

"Leave her alone." Edward looks at our hands, he face turns to pain, and he turns and leaves.

I look at Jacob then look down.

"Jacob it is time to leave so I can work." I hear Carlisle say. Jacob lets go of my hand and walks out. Esme comes over to me and sits next to me on the bed.

"Dear I don't know what you're going through but I'm here for you." I look at her.

"Thank you that means a lot to me." I hug her, it hurt so badly but I stayed still.

"Esme we need to get to work." Carlisle says, Esme helps me pull up my shirt, my whole body goes hot. This is the weirdest moment of my life.

Carlisle comes over and un-wraps my bandage off of me, I flinch from the pain.

"I'm sorry Bella." He apologizes.

"It's okay, you have to do what you have to do." When the bandage is off I look down, I feel like crying. My stomach looks just so bad, it has stitches all over. I'm going to have so many scares. I feel tear fall.

"Wow." I say breathless. "I should have come home earlier." I whisper.

"Bella this isn't your fault, I promise I'm going to get you better." Carlisle says.

"How's the rest of my body?" I ask him.

"You legs are pretty bad, and you arms are bad…just about ever where is bad." He says softly. I look down.

"What about school?" I ask, I can't miss anymore school, I have to pass this year.

"I'm going to say home with you and teach you, like homeschooling." Esme said. I look at her.

"You shouldn't have to do that, I mean you shouldn't have to drop everything for me." I say.

"Bella honey I love you and I think of you as a daughter, I would do this for any of my kids." I flinch because Carlisle is rubbing something on my stomach.

"Thank you, but I'm sure I can do it at school, I'm fine. Carlisle do you think I can go back to school this week?" I ask him.

"Bella I don't even think you can walk."

"We can help her." I hear Alice say from the door. "And Edward he knows most of that stuff to do." I look over at the door and glare at Alice, I don't want Edward to see me like this and it won't help with my plan. Behind Alice are all of the Cullen's and Hale's. I blush since I'm shirtless. Even Edward is behind them, Jacob is no were to be seen. I look back at Carlisle he stares at me trying to see if I can handle it.

"Carlisle I have always been strong you know that, even when you guys weren't there to help me." I look at the door and they all look down. "Which is my fault, but I can deal with this." I tell him.

"Bella I know your strong but you apart of this family and I don't want you to over work yourself." He says trying to convince me to stay.

"I have all of your children with me, and I pretty sure most of them know some of the stuff your doing, they've lived with you all of their lives." I tell him. "I can't miss any school, I want to go." I tell him.

"Okay fine but I want you to go in a wheelchair and I want you to rest as much as possible." He looks over at his children. "You all know what to do but I'll tell you more and what to do, if you make her do too much you're in trouble!" He says.

His kids look at him and all say…"Yes, Sir!" Well Edward doesn't he just looks down.

"Okay Bella lets finish up so you can get some sleep." Carlisle finishes with the bandages. Esme helps me put some new clothes on and I'm all alone. Someone knocks on my door.

"Come in." I say. I close my eyes; Carlisle gave me some pain killers so I can sleep without pain.

"Bella." The voice comes from Edward. I open my eyes to look at him.

"Edward I don't want to hear it." I tell him. "You should have told me you have a girlfriend, I hope you happy with her." I tell him trying not to show my pain, he broke my heart and now he wants to talk to me.

"Bella I--." I cut him off.

"No, I don't want to hear it, you can't tell me you did nothing wrong."

"Edward I think you need to leave." Jacob says from behind him, Edward just stares at me.

"Please go." I bag him. His face turns to pain.

"As you wish." He nods and leaves me, walking past Jacob. I start crying, Jacob comes over to me.

"Bells."

* * *

I'm over at Leah Clearwater's house; we started talking and really got a long.

"I'm going back to college so I really don't know this is going to work." I tell them.

"Well I'll visit as much as possible and call, text." Jacob says.

"Are you sure you really are okay with this?" I ask Leah.

She looks at me.

"Of course anything for love." She smiles.

"Okay then."

This is going to be a long week.

* * *

We are all about to leave, Emmett comes into my room.

"Bells you wheelchairs here." He holds out his arms.

"Huh?"

"I'm your wheelchair."

"You can't carry me around all the time at school." I tell him, which it would be really weird.

"I'm only your wheelchair for this time Bells." He laughs.

"Fine, but be careful."

"Careful is my middle name." He smiles, I giggle.

"Says the guy who always runs into walls." I tell him.

"Shut up." He says pulling me softly into his arms. He moves over to the door and opens it. He walks down the stairs, Esme and Carlisle are waiting for us, Emmett puts me down so I can say goodbye. Esme walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist softly. I flinch.

"Sorry dear." Esme says letting go.

"It's okay I promise." I hug her to me, trying not to flinch away. She lets go and smiles at me. Carlisle comes over to me and kissed my forehead.

"Goodbye my dear." He says. Emmett picks me up in his arms again.

"I love you guys." I smile at them.

"We love you to." They say Emmett walks me out the door. He stops, I look over to where he is looking to see Jacob leaning against a tree, I smile he sure does know how to act the part. When he sees me he walks over.

"Hey beautiful." He says playing his roll. I giggle.

"Hello." Emmett puts me down in front of him still staying next to me; I look around to see every one looking at us. Jacob comes close and takes me softly in his arms.

"I'm going to miss you." He says loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Me too." I tell him back, I lay my head on his chest.

"I'm coming to see you in no time at all okay." He says with longing.

"Okay." I say like I'm in love with him. He kisses my forehead softly…

"Goodbye." I looks at me, then at Edward, he gives him a look that's says 'Stay away or I'll kill you' look.

"Um, one thing, Edward is going to be my fake doctor person." I tell him getting ready for him to fake his anger.

"What!" He yells.

"Calm down, he doesn't have feelings for me he has a girl friend so everything is okay." I tell Jacob taking his face in my hands.

"Okay, well I'm good with it as long as I know you love me." He says.

"Of course I love you." I really never mean this but this plan has to work, I love him but not really like that, I let him go and walk back to Emmett.

"Bye." I wave to Jacob and Emmett helps me to my car with Alice and Rose in it. Rose said she would drive since I can't so yeah.

"Thanks Emmett, come to our dorm room when you get there and don't bring Edward, just you and Jasper." I tell him, I want Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett to be with me on it. He nods.

"Bye teddy bear." I wave and get all the way in the car.

"What was that about?" Rose asks me.

"I'm dating Jacob to make Edward mad, and it's fake."

"What!" They scream at the same time…

"Yep."

"Tell us the plan." Rose says. So I tell them the plan.

"Were in!" Alice screams. "This is going to be so fun! Man Jacob sure knows how to act he's in love with you!" I laugh.

'Yes, he's a great actor, I just can't believe he wanted to do it, he has a girlfriend who he is going to ask to marry him soon." They squeal.

"That's so cute." Yeah it is.

"Well it's going to be weird with Edward and all, with you know him being you 'doctor'." Rose says I blushing.

"I know, I don't think I like the idea." I tell them, I mean it's weird to have a guy you know change you bandage body, why can't I just get the girls to do it.

"Why can't you guys do it?" I ask them.

"Because Edward is the one who is going to be the doctor." Alice tells me.

"He is? He never told me." Well I guess there's a lot of stuff I don't know about him…

**There y'all go, enjoy and review…**

**Runner**


	12. Worry

**Who all saw the beautiful Eclipse? I did LOVED it! You should all go and see it.**

**Please forgive me for not updating sooner, I just haven't wanted to in awhile, I start to feel like this was all I was doing so I stopped for awhile, But I will try to update every now and again =) Love my readers and I hope y'all like this Chapter. =) **

**Last Chapter:**

_"What was that about?" Rose asks me._

_"I'm dating Jacob to make Edward mad, and it's fake."_

_"What!" They scream at the same time…_

_"Yep."_

_"Tell us the plan." Rose says. So I tell them the plan._

_"Were in!" Alice screams. "This is going to be so fun! Man Jacob sure knows how to act he's in love with you!" I laugh._

_'Yes, he's a great actor, I just can't believe he wanted to do it, he has a girlfriend who he is going to ask to marry him soon." They squeal._

_"That's so cute." Yeah it is._

_"Well it's going to be weird with Edward and all, with you know him being you 'doctor'." Rose says I blushing._

_"I know, I don't think I like the idea." I tell them, I mean it's weird to have a guy you know change you bandage body, why can't I just get the girls to do it._

_"Why can't you guys do it?" I ask them._

_"Because Edward is the one who is going to be the doctor." Alice tells me._

_"He is? He never told me." Well I guess there's a lot of stuff I don't know about him…_

Alice had her arm around me helping me get into the dorm room, the pain I feel walking is the worst I can ever think of, other than the time I left the family I love. But that is behind them, I always know it will be in the back of my mind, wondering if they are still hurting inside. I don't want it to still be a problem, the way I hurt them, I want them to know that I will never do that again. I know they have forgiven me, which I'm thankful for. But I know I hurt them and I know I can't take that back.

"Bella were almost there." Alice tells me, I bring my mind back to the matter at hand. Then I feel all the pain of walking. I look over at Alice, she has a worried look on her face. I give her a small smile to tell her I'm okay.

"Okay Alice thanks."

"Guys wait up!" Rose calls behind us. I turn my head to look at her, she has all the suite cases in her arms.

"Oh, Rose let me help you!" I try to reach back to grab some stuff from her arms. She scowls at me.

"Bella you can't even walk and you think you can carry these heavy Alice bags?"

"Well I don't want you to have to do it all." I really don't, they don't need to drop all their lives to help me and my poor helpless body.

"Guys I hope you don't stop everything to help me." I tell them.

"We won't, but you are our sister and we will help you." Alice says. She stops in front of our door and lets go of me. She grabs the key out of her pocket. She un-locks the door. "Come along Bella." She puts her arm back around me. "I need to get you in bed, Carlisle will be mad to know you've been standing this long." She moves me over to my bed. She pulls up my shirt to make sure I'm not bleeding out. "We should probably get Edward in here to check on this soon." Alice tells us.

"Not before I tell Jasper and Emmett my plan."

"Oh, yeah. I can't wait for this, but I must tell you I don't want Edward to get hurt. But he should, he didn't tell any of us he had that evil witch as a girlfriend!" Rose says.

"Calm down Rose, I must say it hurts but I won't say I still don't care for him because I still love him. All I can do is live with how he lives his life, with Jacob in mind." Alice laughs.

"Jakes the best for doing this for you!" Alice's yells.

"Yeah he is." I say mostly to myself.

"Well I'm going to call my man to bring Jasper over with him." Rose says, taking out her cell phone.

"I have this little plan I need to tell you boys." I say, looking at them. They came over right when Rose called, they wanted to get away from Edward. They told Edward that I was to hurt to have him over here so he didn't come...Thankfully.

"Oh! Is it evil?" Emmett asks getting a big smile on his face. Rose laughs, and I try not to.

"You can say that." I tell him.

"Well spill it!" Emmett yells wanting badly to know.

"Well y'all know Jacob right?"I ask.

"Love sick puppy?" Emmett asks confused.

"Well he's not love sick over me."

"What are you saying Bella, he so is, I saw the way he looked at you." Jasper tells me.

"Well he has a girlfriend, and he's asking her to marry him."

"And he didn't tell you and you dating him! I'm going to kill him!" Emmett says getting mad. Rose and Alice laugh. He looks over at them confused. "What?"

"Well he did tell me, but he didn't tell any of you so we could get back at Edward, Jacobs going to be my fake boyfriend." Jasper laughs, but Emmett just looks like he's thinking.

"Oh I see." Emmett says finally understanding the plan. "Man Bella you the best! I love these evil plans. Bahaha." He laughs evilly. I laugh a little at his evil laughing, Rose hits him over the head. "Man why do you always do that!"

"Because you always act stupid!" She yells. Everyone laughs but Emmett.

"Babe your mean!" I look down feeling hot running down my side. There's blood covering my shirt.

"Um, guys I think maybe you should call Edward and I would hurry." They all looked at me.

"Oh, no." Emmett grabs his phone. Jasper comes over to me.

"Bella I need to get your shirt off so it doesn't get stuck to you." Jasper tells me, I blush. "Bells your my sister now come on, it's not like I have feelings for you. Other then sisterly love." I look at him.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Edward on his way." Emmett says.

"Alice would you help me." Jasper asks. Alice moves over to us and helps Jasper pull off my shirt. I moan is pain. "Sorry darlin'" He says softly.

"I know you don't mean to hurt me." I tell him.

"Emmett get something for Bella to lay on so she doesn't mess of her bed with blood." Jasper tells him, Emmett goes to our bathroom and gets a towel.

"Here" He puts the towel down. Jasper carefully pushes me back. When I'm lay down there's knock at the door. Rose goes and opens it. There stands the man who I love, worry clearly written on his face.

Jasper moves away so Edward can check on me.

Edward moves to my side and carefully takes my bandages off.

He replaces them with new fresh bandages. The whole time his soft hands moving along my stomach. He is so gentle with what he is doing.

"I think she started bleeding because she's been up to long." Edward tells them but looks at me, his eyes soft. I can see the pain he has whenever he looks at me. "I'll give her something to calm her so she can sleep." Edward says.

He moves over to his bag that Carlisle gave him with all the stuff to make sure I'm well cared for. He reaches into the bag and pulls out a needle.

He walks over to me and puts it in my arm. "You should put her shirt back on." He tells them. I can feel myself drifting off to sleep.

Alice and Rose move over to help me before I fall asleep.

(Edward POV)

After Bella was asleep I looked over at my brothers and sisters. They glared at me, I'm guessing still mad about the Lauren thing.

"What?" I ask but I already know what's wrong.

"Don't play stupid Edward!" Rose yells/whispers.

"You know why were mad stupid." Emmett says.

"Okay I didn't mean for Lauren to show up like that." I tell them. "I was going to break up with her but then she showed up with Bella at the house. I didn't know what to do, and then she threw herself at me." I looked down.

"Why didn't you tell us you were dating that evil girl?" Alice questions me.

"Because I knew you would be mad at me."

"Do you have feelings for Lauren?" Jasper asks.

"No, I just dated her so I could forget about Bella." I tell them. "I know that's stupid but it hurt me when she left all I did was think about her, all I would feel was pain and I wanted to forget about that pain for a little while. Because I knew it would come back and stab me in the back like it always did." I say in pain.

"Edward, Bella loves you, she always has. She left so she wouldn't hurt you. Don't you see your hurting her. All this cold shoulder. You shouldn't have told her you loved her if you where still dating Lauren. Your are brother and we love you but she's are sister again and we won't let you hurt her. She's so fragile. Ever since her cancer she's been weak Edward. What if all this stress brings her cancer back? What would we do then?" Alice asks. I never thought about Bella's cancers returning. The thought kills me inside, I don't think I could live if it happened again.

If it came back would Bella leave us again?

I hope not, but if she tries I will not let her, I won't lose her again. I love her to much to go through that again. I don't think I could handle her lay in bed scared she might die.

I hope she doesn't think about getting her cancer back, she shouldn't worry about it. I won't let her. All I have to do to get her back is breaking up with Lauren.

But then there's Jacob, the boy she's in love with...

**Well there you go, it's short I know but I want to update all my other stories to =) Please review. And tell me what you thought and how you liked Eclipse =)**


	13. OMG

Hey y'all I know I haven't updated a lot but I want to let you know about my awesome Guitar Teacher! He just made a CD and it is on Itunes, for $7.92. I believe one day he will be a very famous star and you can help him get up there so please help him. His Name is Tim Cretella =) Thx and if you all get his CD I swear to God I will take the time to update my stories =) for each of my stories thx. Love ya all


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